I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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