was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize