but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
