Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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