apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Randomize
