I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize