I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
