just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
