is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Randomize
