shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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