Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Are we still banned from the library?
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
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