Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
