i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Randomize
