Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
What drink are we having for lunch?
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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