Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
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