Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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