i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
