the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
