Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
