I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
The beer is more important than you right now.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
