i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
