A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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