Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
