Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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