yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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