I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Randomize
