i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
