M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize