Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize
