there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
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