Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
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