it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
