You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Randomize
