i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Randomize
