my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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