Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
