someone get that fucking seahorse.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize