I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
