I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
