Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
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