Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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