he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
