Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
