Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
