haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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