At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
