walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
