i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
