So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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