he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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