Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
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