i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
