i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
She even gives head with a lisp.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize