dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
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