The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
