You're my little dorito
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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