College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Randomize
