he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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