I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
