I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
