Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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